Tuesday, 27 December 2011

A Letter to the Elvis Impersonator Who Stole My In-Flight Muffin

quote [ Works submitted to Squawk Back, whether officially or unofficially copyrighted, will remain the full intellectual property of their authors. We are far less interested in exploiting emergent literary voices than providing them with a slightly louder box with which to squawk. ]

Site dedicated to publishing amateur short stories (that's amateur writers, not, ahem, actors.)
Some are good, most are not. Still managed to waste a fair amount of time here. May you have the same fortune!
[literature] [by unga-bunga@2:07pmGMT] [+5 Interesting]

Comments

sacrelicious said @ 9:20pm GMT on 27th Dec
"Some are good, most are not."

and therein lies the problem. don't get me wrong, it's nice of them not to take any copyrights, but the only things a proposition can offer to an aspiring author are exposure a credibility. if most of their stories suck people won't come to this site seeking stories, so the only exposure a writer will get is amongst a bunch of other writers who are in the same boat (and who probably will also not read his stories, because most of the stories there suck). as for the later, a random weblog or zine alone will not lend an author any credibility. there are millions of lit blogs and zines around, and starting one yourself is easy and free. and most of them suck, so few of them warrant a mention in a resume. if this is also one of those whose stories mostly suck, it too would provide no credibility. therefore this offers the writer nothing. just another one of an infinite number of places for writers to dump their stories on a pile of unsorted stories.

now if the site had a person or persons whose full or part time job was to curate the submissions so that the stories selected didn't mostly suck, but rather hopefully were mostly good (an editorial board, for example) then this might rise some measure above the pack, as it would be a place where people who like reading quality fiction would know they could probably find it. that in itself would be a real service to the aspiring authors whose stories are selected. it would also be labor intensive, and would necessitate some sort of a business model that would generate cash flow. a promotions arm to spread word of the zine/blog far and wide would help build and maintain an audience, but it would be an expense, not something that would bring in money on it's own to pay for itself. no, you would have to pay for this somehow. maybe they could sell advertising? it's a tried and true method for regular publications to get income. trouble it, it tends to make the final edition pretty ugly. and you're have to be able to demonstrate that you have a considerable readership before you could command any ad rates that are worth a damn. you could always charge the reader. maybe donations, but honestly, what lit blog doesn't do that these days? and all it does is help them buy a coffee every couple of months. how about a cover-price? might work for a physical zine to a certain extent, but it would kill the website as a source for full length short stories.

but say you're curating and editing these stories, and all the expense involved in that (even if it's just one or two people doing it for free on their spare time, it's still an expense in time and talent. it's just that those people are eating that expense) all in the service of creating an entity worthy of being sought out by readers, and maybe even potential publishers? and say you're promoting this entity to make it easier for the audience for such a publication to find it? are you not providing the writers you've selected with a tremendously valuable service that can help them build their careers and lead to them maybe one day being able to make a living as writers of literature? wouldn't it be a net gain for all involved if you made part of your income by retaining the copyrights to the stories and charging other publications a fee for licensing them? you could even allow the authors to share in those proceeds, giving them real money for their work, and in effect allowing them to call themselves professional writers for the first time. is that exploitation? maybe in the strictest sense of the word, but the writers are getting a hell of alot more out of it than if you didn't, so maybe it's more like mutual exploitation.

or you could do it amateur-hour like this and countless other literary publications, boasting of how non-commercial you are while adding to a massive mountain of literature that will probably never be read by anyone.
thesquawkback said @ 4:41pm GMT on 28th Dec
Dear unga-bunga,

Firstly, I would like to thank you for writing up our publication: we've been around about eight months and this is the first internet porn portal site that's reviewed in a general kind of way the 450 odd short stories, poems and essays we've published since our formation.

Since you have dismissed MOST of them as "not good," I am assuming that you've read most of them... or half... or a quarter, or a sixteenth, or just a single entire issue... or maybe the first couple of lines of one story in one issue... I mean, I'm not an internet literary critic, I'm only an "amateur writer." (Which is an interesting term: you'll have to forgive my ignorance, but I've read a handful of book reviews and webzine blog posts and what not, yet I've never heard of anything called amateur writing. I've heard of zines, literary blogs, small publishing houses... I've heard of FAN FICTION... but I haven't heard of amateur writing. It seems to me that "amateur" implies unskilled or untrained. Are writers trained? MFA Creative Programs are a relatively new thing. But then it also implies an objective criteria for good writing... for example, some of my contributors live on the outskirts of society, some of them aren't college-educated, some of them could be considered outsider artists... but I realized that if I dismissed this "class" or "race" (if you prefer) of artist, then I would probably be missing out on the next William Faulkner or Herman Melville.

But at the same time, most of my contributors have extensive publication histories, and I've even gone as far to provide them with bios so people like you don't get confused and think they're reading the work of an untried "amateur" of some kind.

As for the absurd accusation that we publish everything we're sent and don't have an editorial staff, a cursory glance at our site's Quantcast page will show that we have about 3,500 unique views (i.e. visitors) per month, and an even MORE curory glance at the blog shows that we publish the work of about 20 contributors per month... so... IS it likely that out of 3,500 visitors only 0.5% of them submit stories? The existence of this website seems proof that everyone on the internet feels that their inane thoughts need to be published.

Well, thanks again for insulting over 200 people who have contributed to Squawk Back without reading their work, and thanks to the other idiot who wrote a three paragraph rant condemming the nature of Squawk Back while REPEATEDLY admitting that he hadn't even fucking looked at it.
mechanical contrivance said @ 6:58pm GMT on 28th Dec
SE is a porn portal site?
happiest_sadist said @ 10:03pm GMT on 28th Dec [Score:3 Funny]
Yes, and it also has this complex nested comment system that some folks don't seem to get.
papango said @ 10:11pm GMT on 28th Dec
It's as if he hasn't even fucking looked at it.
azazel said @ 2:40am GMT on 29th Dec
Dude, if you're a writer you ought to know the meanings of 'amateur'.
azazel said @ 2:42am GMT on 29th Dec [Score:1]
Actually, for being a writer your sentences stink.
unga-bunga said @ 11:19am GMT on 29th Dec [Score:-1]

unga-bunga said @ 11:20am GMT on 29th Dec
"Amateur", as in "not professional", as in "unpaid for the work submitted", you fucking quack.

I proffered my opinion of the general quality of the site, and I stand by it. I spent the better part of three hours reading various stories, spanning many issues, and while I did find a couple of gems the bulk of the writing was a freaking train wreck. Like most rubberneckers, I had a hard time turning away.

I will agree completely that SE is proof that every idiot and their dog feels like their opinion matters. What exactly is your point? How many grains of sand do you need to exclaim about before I point out the fact you're standing on a fucking beach?!?

Also, 3500 unique hits per month is not really that much of an accomplishment when you are seeking out new submissions/writers on Craigslist (and who knows where else), which is how I found your HTML poor website in the first place.
azazel said @ 3:46pm GMT on 29th Dec
I think a mahjong blog I wrote for have around 2k hits per month, and given how small of a niche western mahjong is compared to amateur writing, I'd say 3.5k is pretty low numbers.
tanix said @ 2:22pm GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 Informative]
"Amateur" comes from the Latin root amo/amas/amat which means "love." An amateur is someone who does something purely because they love it, not because they get a paycheck.
krupa said @ 6:44am GMT on 2nd Jan
*Gets confused about amateur porn*

*understands*
happiest_sadist said @ 3:46am GMT on 28th Dec [Score:2]
For those who dig this sort of thing, here are some other story sites I've enjoyed:

http://www.flurb.net/

http://365tomorrows.com/

http://futurismic.com/

http://www.abyssapexzine.com/

None of these are strictly amateur, and they are mostly "speculative fiction" or whatever the k00l kids are calling it these days.
hellboy said @ 9:57pm GMT on 1st Jan
Also:

http://www.strangehorizons.com
thesquawkback said @ 6:24pm GMT on 29th Dec
Yeah, I didn't say 3.5k hits, I said 3.5k uniques per month, and about 17,000 hits. Here's the link if you're curious: https://www.quantcast.com/thesquawkback.com

and if you remember correctly, I wasn't bragging, I was simply trying to dispute the accusation that we publish everything we get sent:

If we get 3,500 visitors per month (which, admittedly, IS NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE and I didn't claim it was)... then presumably we get more than 20 submissions per month...

The first response to the original post implied that we published everything we were sent, and I was attempting to defend myself.

So I wasn't bragging, and the comment about SE being a porn portal site was a joke.. the post accusing my blog of basically being a scam was NOT a joke.

So again, as I meant sincerely, thank you for posting a link to my site, but just so you know, we reject a lot of stuff. No harm no foul. Thank you.
thesquawkback said @ 8:48pm GMT on 29th Dec
Like if you think my work sucks, I'm bang to rights: I can't possibly dispute your opinion, as it is your opinion, but if you're going to go on a popular "internet funnies blog" and tell a large number of men who can't get laid and are obsessed with porn dvd easter eggs that we don't spend countless hours per week rigorously editing and sorting through submissions, then presumably people WON'T click through and won't bother to look and will write raving comments declaiming "amateur hour" blogs without actually inspecting them. Any constructive feedback is welcome, but implying that "there is no editorial staff working for Squawk Back" is like sort of aspersive, libelous and offensive, yet you haven't apologized and acknowledged that this site is obviously "worked on" quite a bit, which anyone who bothered to look at it would admit is probable.
papango said @ 10:48pm GMT on 29th Dec [Score:3 Insightful]
No, dude. Lots will. Or would have. I'm expecting that I won't find anything on your site as delicious as the butthurt I'm seeing here, so I'll just stay here. Unga-bunga posted it, gave us his opinion and suggested we take a look. Sac was antagonistic about the whole idea. That's fine. That's pretty much how he sees the world and most people who have been here for a while know that. It wouldn't have stopped anyone from clicking through. Your ridiculous overreaction to a comment on a website will probably put people off. Taking a second to figure out how the comments work, and maybe have a look at the site, and then letting sac know where he was mistaken (which would have been a great opportunity to put forward your sites philosophy and whatnot) would probably have won you some visits to your site by people who are interested in new writing.

Also, it's not good constantly referring to us as sad men with porn addictions. Most of us are pretty comfortable with that description. (Even me, and I'm a woman.
thesquawkback said @ 11:39pm GMT on 29th Dec
Yeah but I don't actually want to be associated with the demographics of this website: some of these people seem barely able to express themselves in English.. his opinion isn't worth anything because it's based not on a duly considered review of the site but on a general aversion to "long reads."
papango said @ 11:48pm GMT on 29th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Yeah. Your assertion that 'his opinion isn't worth anything' would be a lot more convincing if there weren't already comments from you ranting about his opinion here. And you showed it to people, people you knew would be upset by it, even though you thought it was worthless. I didn't spend much time as an editor, but I tended not to do that to writers I worked with. It wasn't constructive and it severed no purpose.
thesquawkback said @ 11:55pm GMT on 29th Dec
This site has a larger viewership than mine: lot of people will come across his worthless opinion on this site... since it's a popular site... in my mind, those people, if they had stumbled upon a blog posting that didn't insult my site, or maybe stumbled upon it by other means, might have otherwise given my publication a fighting chance to prove to them that it DID in fact have an editorial staff, only published twenty stories per month and featured work by mostly professional writers... perhaps SOME of them might have spent more than 2 hours on the site before determining that MOST of its content "was not good"
thesquawkback said @ 11:58pm GMT on 29th Dec
Instead they have a blog entry that took ten seconds to write which, while backhandedly promoting the site, does sort of suggest that it's mostly bad and amateurish, which is subjective, but like I said, it's coming from a voice with a bigger platform
papango said @ 12:14am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:5 Underrated]
Yes. A lot of people come here. The sites over ten years old, so it's attracted a small, but rowdy, following. And it's collaborative, so everybody gets to have a say and post whatever they like. And most of the people who click through to this post will glance over the comments first to see if anyone is recommending a particular piece or author. And when they do they'll find out that the site doesn't welcome them because they are porn-addled idiots with worthless opinions and you don't want to be associated with them. Maybe, just maybe, that might be why those that then do go to your site aren't giving it a fighting chance.
sacrelicious said @ 9:06pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2 Funny]
hooray, my opinions matter more than your blog does! thank you so much, you're too kind!

since you believe me to be so influential, I would like to formally extend to you an offer to be your in-house literary critic. or perhaps your own version of Andy Rooney. I will offer you ownership of all copyrights for my work published on your site (a valuable resource considering my vast influence, I'm sure you will agree), in exchange for a twenty cent per-word rate. that's a bargain considering the fact that it would most likely increase your readership tenfold. if you are as confident in my ability to draw an audience as you seem to be, this could be a major coup for you, allowing you to monetize your publication and expand it's influence in the literary world.

when you think about it, you'd be stupid not to! and I don't even know myself whether I'm being sarcastic or serious here!
azazel said @ 7:26am GMT on 30th Dec
Actually, given that you have 200 contributors (allegedly) I'd say that your presumption is not given at all.

Listen, I've been where you are; I've worked on ezines, for ezines, and (somewhat) in publishing, and I moderated Elfwood/Wyvern's Library for three or four years. What I'm seeing from you is you taking comments way too personally. You're acting just like the authors that were rejected on Elfwood did: by insulting us. So what if unga-bunga didn't enjoy most of the stuff on your site? He still said he found some gems, and he obviously thought it worth sharing, else he wouldn't have posted it here. So what if Sac doesn't like your business model (and I'm inclined to agree with him and if I had the cash and time would probably start something like he envisioned up)? Why does that matter at all?

A link is a link. papango's explained it better than me, but I'll say it again: you've fucked yourself over more than unga-bunga and sac ever could have accomplished. By treating us like idiots you've made sure to lose as many click-throughs as possible, and those that do make it past your rather shitty attitude (I'm not sure I would like to be published or associated with someone like you) will probably not be too forgiving.
unga-bunga said @ 4:17am GMT on 31st Dec
Never my intention. I posted the site because I thought it was worth sharing, albeit barely.
thesquawkback said @ 11:43pm GMT on 29th Dec
I don't think it's fair to say this is an overreaction because I've shown this to contributors to my site and they too are offended and confused as to why this individual and the idiot who went on a tirade about "sites like these" without looking at my site feel the need to post misinformation about Squawk Back. Your failure to even directly address the content of the preceding posts suggests that your input here is also worthless and going to lead to further confusion.
papango said @ 11:58pm GMT on 29th Dec [Score:3 Underrated]
I don't have to address Sac's comments. He states at the beginning that he hasn't seen your site, he's basing his whole reaction to a comment by unga-bunga, and his own idea of what it might be like. He's pretty open about the fact that he hasn't looked at your site. My time's not very precious, but I'm still not going to waste it interrogating his imaginings. In much the same way as I don't feel the need to engage with your comments about 'the demographics of this website' when your open about the fact that you haven't actually looked at it.

The internet is a rough and tumble place. It's full of misinformation and much much worse. I don't want to tell you your business, but if one random comment on a site you 'don't want to be associated with' really upsets you this much, maybe you should think about other avenues of publishing.
thesquawkback said @ 12:00am GMT on 30th Dec
It doesn't upset me but I owe it to my contributors to protect them from the lies of idiots
monkeynuts said @ 12:25am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Said the pot to the kettle...
monkeynuts said @ 12:25am GMT on 30th Dec
oh yea and if you missed it, that was me calling you an idiot.
thesquawkback said @ 12:37am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Good]
right... and yourself as well if you think about it
monkeynuts said @ 12:51am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2 Funny]
stop that, I'm mad at myself already for using ellipsis.
theolypse said @ 8:42am GMT on 30th Dec
I have a friend who uses that handle. I'm not sure how he'd feel about you using him.
papango said @ 8:55am GMT on 30th Dec
Monkeynuts are velvety smooth, so maybe he'd be into it?
ComposerNate said @ 6:41pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2 Funny]

Mm Nn
unga-bunga said @ 1:53am GMT on 31st Dec
Most excellent. Humour is important in edumacation.
papango said @ 12:29am GMT on 30th Dec
Yes, you do (although I'm not sure your achieving that, but certainly that is part of publishing). So why, for the love of sweet imaginary jesus, did you show it to your contributors? I can't even, with that. It's such a vulnerable thing to put your first work forward, and there is such a duty of care in being the publisher of new writers. I can't even imagine why you would show this to them when you yourself think it is worthless.
thesquawkback said @ 12:41am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Eh, all I did was post a link to this on our facebook page but I took it down for the reason you stated.. it's hurtful and unnecessary and not worthwhile. I myself am a contributor to the site, and I only found out about it because of the large volume of clickthrus I'm getting from this site.. so I'm not even sure if I've handled this poorly, but I should be protecting their feelings, but more importantly their honor, which is what I've tried to do here. But you're right and this is getting childish
papango said @ 12:48am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Indeed. Although I do stick up for SE, we will drag a person down to our level as soon as we smell blood. And I can see how having the creative work you've nurtured written off by Sac (who hasn't even been to the site) could rile a person up.

Why don't you pop a link to a story you think is really strong in the comments.
steele.ero said @ 1:16am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:3 Underrated]
Not to pile on you or anything, but you are totally misusing your facebook page.

Your fb page is supposed to be your place to interact with your audience in a way that makes them want to share your wares. Rather than posting each individual story, you should be posting each issue as it comes out and then in the down time engaging your readers; Use the question app to ask them what their favorite story was, run contests to increase your like count, run submission drives in order to make placement in your "mag" more exclusive (I'm a webmaster too, at 3.5k a month I know damn well you're not swimming in a wide selection of authors.)

Also, get a new theme for your blog, if you're a mag, be a mag. Make it look like a magazine, javascript page turning, etc. You look like another blog from the block. Unless you're just trying for some ego trip, and it doesn't sound like you are, you owe it to your authors to provide a decent medium for their work. I'd also advise adding open graph tags in the header of the page so your like buttons become more viral.

See here for what I'm talking about.

While you're doing all this you should also be looking into publishing your mag as an ebook. The legalities might be a bitch at first, but in this day and age there's no reason you should confine yourself to one avenue of dissemination. Amazon has an easy self publishing option for the kindle. Look into it.

And quit being so defensive; The big dog doesn't need to bark, people shit themselves at the size of his footprints.

good luck.
azazel said @ 7:06am GMT on 30th Dec
"Poorly" is inadequate to describe how you've handled this. You've slammed everyone here, called them idiots (and worse), and pretty much guaranteed that your site gets as bad a reputation as possible. Because of two comments (one which even says it's talking about this stuff in general and not your site specifically).

And then you showed it to your contributors/followers.
thesquawkback said @ 11:45pm GMT on 29th Dec [Score:-2]
But like I said, I highly doubt you would like any blogs like these since they contain entries longer than 400 words and don't deal with internet-based faux pas. I'm sure the 50 off people who clicked through to Squawk Back from this website were disappointed with the general lack of porn reviews and so fucked off.
papango said @ 12:10am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2]
I'm beginning to suspect that PR and marketing might not be your strong suit. Because I know a lot of people here are huge readers, and you seem to be going out of your to alienate all of us because of one comment. I can't for the life of me understand why you didn't just post a comment refuting Sac and then point to a particular story you thought was really strong to get people interested.

See, this is the sort of site I would usually forward to the people in publishing I still know (it's only New Zealand, so a small group, but certainly an interested one). But I won't, because I can't trust you to treat those people with respect if they happen to disagree with you, and some of them will. And if they forward it to me, I'll likely mention the time we talked, and I found out that I'm not welcome at your site because I come here.
brat#3 said @ 12:27am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:5 Insightful]
I think he went to the Paul Christofuro school of Marketting.
monkeynuts said @ 12:26am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Is your name Paul by any chance?
unga-bunga said @ 2:30am GMT on 31st Dec
I'm not sure exactly why I could not resist, but I just had to Whois the guy.

Man, sometimes those can reveal a lot.
unga-bunga said @ 4:14am GMT on 31st Dec
Like phone numbers! :O
azazel said @ 7:04am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2]
Yes, clearly we're all so porn-addled that we can't ready anything longer than 400 words. Just because I happen to have all the links in my Entry Watch list, I'll just list them here. I doubt you'll care, but whatever:

SE Book of the Month Club
SE BotM follow-up (Slaughter house 5)

ASK SE: What are you reading and what are your favourites

NPR's 'Vote for best Fantasy Ever'"
and its follow-up

SE Book Club 2006

SE Book Club 2007
SE Book Club 2007 Voting

ASK SE: What are you reading? (2009)

SE Book Club 2010

I might have missed a few. But it's clear that we can't read anything longer than 400 words. In fact, I only read the back of books; anything longer and I might strain my eyes!

No, if anything, you've made me not click through. I enjoy reading, and I also know that while one person might not enjoy the majority of stuff he found at your site he still wasted enough time to tell us about it. I would probably have clicked through.
Aidentas said @ 12:23am GMT on 30th Dec
Hey guys, let's play a game of Mafia!
Fenny said @ 6:14am GMT on 30th Dec
thesquawkback said @ 12:09pm GMT on 30th Dec
What is Geddy Lee doing to that thing?
unga-bunga said @ 4:33am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Underrated]
If you weren't such a douche I would have actually laughed at that.
azazel said @ 7:31am GMT on 30th Dec [Score:5 Funny]
Ohh, let's do a publisher's house mafia game, where the players are aspiring authors!
unga-bunga said @ 12:51pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:5 Insightful]
Hahahaha... oh, jeez. This whole thread is seriously priceless. Allow me to summarize:
Unga Bunga: Hey everybody, check out this site.
Sac: No way, you're stupid. Everybody but me is stupid, and here's an over-the-top explanation of why this site is stupid.
Squawkboy: Thanks for the link & exposure (P.S.: I don't really mean it). You're stupid. This website and everybody on it is stupid, and you don't know what you're talking about. BTW, I'm not an amateur. I have tons of cred, yo.
Papango: Whatever, dude. You're overreacting. Chill.
Squawkboy:But these guys started it, and really they're so stupid. I showed my friends and they think you are all stupid, too. And Unga and Sac didn't offer me a fair chance. No fair! Stupid!
Papango: You know, you're full of shit and we all see right through you.
Monkeynuts: Can't we all just get along? BTW, Squawkboy, you are an idiot.
Steele.ero*Sigh* Are you indeed really serious about what you are doing? If so, you really, really suck. Your FB page is a joke, and your MO is pathetic. Here's a couple of really good tips, that most people would realize on their own, but here you go. No need to thank me.
Squawkboy:Despite the fact I haven't figured out the comment structure, I will answer you all thusly: You are all stupid, porn-addled, ADHD motherfuckers who can't read.
Papango: Dude, you need to re-examine your business philosophy. BTW, I was in (real) publishing, and have still have local connections in the industry. Guess what? You just fucked yourself, stupid.

Papango for the win!

Hey, you know, after re-reading my post, it occurs to me I should submit it to Squawkbox as a short. It can't be any worse than what's already there, and since there's no editorial staff it's sure to make it. Hey guys, I'm gonna be a published author!
thesquawkback said @ 1:27pm GMT on 30th Dec
Okay, I'm sorry... Papango, can you please make it so that my publication doesn't fail? You have the power.. Unga-bunga said you "have still have local connections" or something, even though you said they were in New Zealand, so I'm genuinely concerned. When you said "you should post some links to stories from the site" was that a lie? I thought you were trying to make amends, but then unga-bunga, after carefully reading the posts that we wrote to each other, decided that you were burning me after some hateburt for the win... I so confused anymore...

I'm sorry I said I have lots of cred... that was wrong... I don't remember saying it, but I guess unga-bunga read it somewhere, something someone said someplace or something and decided I did said that have said...

*Sigh* if only I understooded comment structure. Monkeynuts said I call kettle black for say he idiot... then I say "if, in analogy presented here, I pot and you kettle then we both idiots"... some people undertstood, but unga-bunga say other thing.. have said have other thing and said I... sad... sad...

Then steele.ero said DA OBVIOUS THINGS THAT PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY REALIZE like tacky horrible javascript effects like pdf's that look like real book are key have key to make success, and then fantasy fan fiction site moderator say mean mean thing.

I sorry it no obvious me that things you do are obvious...

I say I sorry I accuse of ADHD and porn fanship people... please explain comment structure.. so complex... so elegant...
azazel said @ 3:11pm GMT on 30th Dec
Dude, you're whining now; drop it.
steele.ero said @ 5:07pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:5 Informative]
Do you know why it's important as the man in charge of things to be able to take criticism without making it personal?

Because shit like this happens.

You see, over the next month or two Google is going to do what is called the "Google Dance". All of Google's servers are going to start collating their data and reassessing pageranks in order to determine the appropriate search results to return for the given keywords. The servers will take a lot of variables into account, but the biggest factors are going to be: site size, site age, site backlinks, site popularity, and site activity.

Do you think your site thesquawkback.com is going to be able to compete with SE on any of those things?

I'm asking rhetorically, of course. You don't stand a chance.

So, what's going to happen is over the next few months is you're going to lose your top ranking on google for "the squawk back". Instead, we're going to see what has happened here numerous times before. When people search for your site "the squawk back", what people are going to get is this comment thread of you making a jackass out of yourself.

Now I really was ( and still am ) trying to be nice, but if from my advice the only thing you can focus on is design issues, which I still stand by... Well, maybe you should rethink what you're doing. Perhaps your maturity level isn't quite up to being in charge of something just yet.


See those two dips in October? Database failure. When you get big enough shit like that happens. In three months, from scratch, I built something that lost more hits in a single day than you'll get all year.
thesquawkback said @ 5:19pm GMT on 30th Dec
Yeah porn
assbastard said @ 5:36pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:4 Hot Pr0n]
Steele.ero is not the webmaster/owner of SE. He owns a different, non-porn-related site.
thesquawkback said @ 3:48am GMT on 1st Jan
I love mangoo.
DarkShadowRavenDragonGrrl69 said @ 4:59am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 Insightful]
Also monkeynuts is a cripple so you're fucked on any argument you make. HEY GRAHAM YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S ALLOWED TO BE DRUNK!
graham said @ 8:48pm GMT on 1st Jan
I find this erogenous and highly irresponsible!
papango said @ 12:49am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Informative]
Well, if you're confused maybe you should talk to me about it. As I mentioned I was briefly an editor in publishing in New Zealand (we have a small passionate sector). I worked on poetry mainly, and more than one of books was letter-pressed by hand (which will give you an idea of the demand for New Zealand poetry). I left for more money in the government, and the opportunity to lay down the law on comma placement without somebody bursting into tears. I do know people who are still in publishing, but we're hardly a cabal. Even if I wanted to blacklist you (and I don't), most people I told would check it out to see what I was going on about. That's the sort of power I wield. And I was sincere about you linking to a story you think is strong. I'm genuinely interested, and if this is going to start coming up when people google Squawk Back, you might as well put up something really strong for people who want to know what the fuss is about.

I'm assuming unga-bunga has overstated my powers on account of what happened to Marck (who is fine, as long as he does as he's told).
thesquawkback said @ 1:30pm GMT on 30th Dec
But still confused... why I write comment at all if Unga-Bunga said "check out site, site good"... it seem like have said he have said it MOSTLY BAD, and I only get 80 or so clickthrus from sensibleerection, then say he spend 3 hours reading site, which features like a couple hundred stories and stuff, and said he decided then, and other people were all like HEY UNGA BUNGA, HE SMART, HE LITERATE, READ A LOT, KNOW WHAT'S GOOD, HE GIVE UP HIS OPINION...

And then I say HAVE I HAVE HAVE STREET CRED ... I no say the people whose work I publish have have extensive publication history.. I said ME... NOT THEY... ME... different!
thesquawkback said @ 1:31pm GMT on 30th Dec
Oh... and... BY THE WAY unga-bunga... it's NOT called Squawkbox... it's called SQUAWK BACK... huhuhhuhhh. you muss be so stupid to think that iss called something is not. huhuhuhuh.
thesquawkback said @ 1:52pm GMT on 30th Dec
Hahahaha... oh, jeez. This whole thread is seriously priceless. Allow me to summarize:

Unga Bunga: Me hate long reads... site with long reads make me angry like math.
Sac: I agree with sentiment. Sites such as these, which publish everything they get sent, suck. I believe you said it was called Cockback. I don't agree with the title.
Squawkboy: Thanks for the link & exposure (P.S.: I don't really mean it). You have said that my site publishes every submission it receives: here is some irrefutable evidence to suggest that this is aspersive. Why have you said this?
Papango: Mean man! Say mean things! Mean things!
Squawkboy:Look, I'm sorry I made you cry... it's just not very nice to spread lies about websites just because you hate them because they... wait... Unga-bunga... didn't you say that you discovered my site through craigslist... are you an aspiring writer... did we reject something you sent... that might explain this... believe it or not, you wouldn't be the first spurned contributor to post hateful screed about us on a blog... hmm... my brain tingles with suspicion... looking at craigslist writing gigs...
Papango:Mean man! Mean! Okay... I forgive you... what are some stories you think good. I read...
Monkeynuts: Pot call kettle black! I pot... you kettle... both black... meaning both stupid. I stupid. You stupid.
Squawkboy: Yeah I Know
Steele.ero*Sigh*Everybody knows websites that look like books are more popular than those that don't...
Squawkboy:ADHD! I NO UNDERSTAND COMMENT STRUCTURE!
Papango: You shouldn't be rude to people who can potentially help you... that isn't to say that I possess enough clout in the publishing industry to seriously effect your chances of branching off into print which you've expressed no intention of doing, but I'm merely telling you this to encourage you to be nice to people.
Unga-bunga: Hhuhuhuhuhuhuh.. PAPANGO SAY SHE have influence in publish indust? hahaha... you SCREWD.. YOU IN BIG BIG BIG TROUBLE BOY..HUHUH..Squawky...

Hey, you know, after re-reading my post, it occurs to me I should submit it to Squawkbox as a short. It can't be any worse than what's already there, and since there's no editorial staff it's sure to make it. Hey guys, I'm gonna be a published author!
assbastard said @ 4:10pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:1 Informative]
Look, you're starting to out-Paul Christoforo Paul Christoforo. Please google "Christoforo + Mike Krahulik" if you don't know who he is, and learn. Learn from this incident.

I realize that the fact that "assbastard" is telling you this doesn't make you want to do it, but just humor me.
thesquawkback said @ 5:00pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:-2]
I didn't "know he is, and learn," but I googled it; you're right, my grammar is poor like his, I should really work on my grammar... and learn...
thesquawkback said @ 5:01pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:-1 Boring]
I really have had have a lot to learn... you're right... I is sorry.
thesquawkback said @ 5:01pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:-1 Boring]
Anyway, Papango, can you please call the publishing blacklist and have have my name taken off? I and learn...
papango said @ 2:54am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2]
Oh, sweetie. We were so close to a big person conversation about your writers and now we're back here. Comments with name at the top are from me and you can safely assume they contain my opinions and ideas, comments with other peoples names at the top are from them and express their opinions. If you can't grasp that and you really want to believe I threatened your business based on my contacts with New Zealand's all powerful writers and publishers, by all means go ahead.

Here are some kittens.




Now fuck off.
thesquawkback said @ 3:00am GMT on 31st Dec
Sorry: I think you missed the part where unga-bunga said that YOU said in so many words: "Dude, you need to re-examine your business philosophy. BTW, I was in (real) publishing, and have still have local connections in the industry. Guess what? You just fucked yourself, stupid."

I was making fun of him for saying another stupid thing: it had nothing to do with you.
papango said @ 4:40am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Oh noes. The mean mean man is being not nice. My poor fragile lace mind may tear at the not niceness of it. I can't try to make a point about alienating potential readers because the meanness fogs my pretty little mind. I can't take it, I retire to my fainting couch, somebody bring me my smelling salts and Sasha Grey video.

Seriously though, for someone whose website claims to be interested in the threatening, provoking, mildly irritating, and nauseating, you really seem to have an issue with porn.
unga-bunga said @ 4:47am GMT on 31st Dec
And with being threatened, provoked, mildly irritated and nauseated! Go figure!
thesquawkback said @ 11:21am GMT on 31st Dec
Who said I have an issue with porn? The first comment was a joke about this site being a porn portal site, and then I said I wasn't surprised that a porn-related site is more popular than a short stories blog
papango said @ 11:45am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Good]
You did. Over and over again. You dismissed steele.ero's comments about web sites with 'yeah, porn'. I'm assuming your description of the people here as 'a large number of men who can't get laid and are obsessed with porn dvd easter eggs ' who were 'disappointed with the general lack of porn reviews' on your site wasn't a compliment. That this site has porn has been your go-to for why you don't have to listen to us. We have porn-cooties so you don't have to engage with steele-ero or assbastard when they make valid points.
thesquawkback said @ 11:52am GMT on 31st Dec
Well, his comments were kind of an insulting personalized boast about how his site gets more hits than mine and I was merely pointing out that only very rarely is Squawk Back accidentally visited by people in search of porn, but this probably happens a bit more to porn-addled sites? I don't understand why I have to be necessarily anti-porn in order to point out that porn is obviously more popular than short stories. So I made some dumb comments about SE that I thought were funny and they related to its being interested in porn: I don't know how you've extrapolated from that that I'm anti-sex and anti-porn.. and I also don't understand why you're telling people I give out actual addresses of people on facebook when it was the email address of one person and it was in response to him telling all of his friends to harass me on facebook, though we've since patched it up. There are two sides to every story and I think you're sort of borderline inciting visitors to this site to continue cyberharassing me, and even giving them some kind of justification like "I release people's addresses"... which isn't actually true
papango said @ 12:09pm GMT on 31st Dec
That was a typo on my part, I said addresses when I meant email addresses (although honestly, if you can't find someone's actual physical address when you have their name, email and home state, you're not really trying).

I would love to have the power to incite anybody here to do anything, I'm currently losing a battle of wits with two pet rabbits in my front garden and god knows I could use the boost, but it's not going to happen. I've already mentioned that I don't think it's fair to drag this over into other sites, the vitriol you and the Durretts have going on over is yours to post and isn't a license for others to behave badly. And I hope it stops.
thesquawkback said @ 12:15pm GMT on 31st Dec
Well if you're curious, he submitted a few things, I published one of them.. then he submitted a few more which I ignored, and he sent me a couple of angry emails insulting my own writing, so I decided to post them just to diffuse his anger a little bit and possibly make him see how ridiculous he was being.. then he posted screenshots of me from a youtube video of me reading a story and made it his profile pic, incited his friends to harass me. Then he apologized and I've since published one of his poems. So he and I may not be best friends, but this was for the most part a friendly feud and I think you're a little out of line for saying that this is a PATTERN and justifies further contempt of me.

Also: we've had a problem with spurned contributors harassing me, at least 4 or 5 have done, and this isn't even the last one.
papango said @ 12:27pm GMT on 31st Dec
Actually, what I said was that it specifically wasn't a justification for harassment of you. The exchanges you have posted there are yours to post, and shouldn't be taken as an open invitation for vitriol.

I do have some understanding of dealing with harassment. One of the reasons everything is in my husband's name is due to death threats and the like I received in my last job (not from the poets I hasten to add, I was at the Ministry of Justice). I doubt any of the people I was dealing with would ever have made good on their threats (good luck raping me in the bath family court asshole, our apartment doesn't even have one), but it was very unpleasant. Rejection is a hard thing to process and people lash out. I don't envy you that.
unga-bunga said @ 3:50pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Informative]
Taking a look at the screenshots on Facebook shows that this is indeed a pattern. His idea of "friendly fued" and "good fun" are to berate and insult people, in front of friends if possible. If you read his responses to the writers he's rejected and posted about on Facebook, or some of the related comment threads, you get an idea of the level of maturity of this guy.

You were right on the money when you said he can dish it out but can't take it. However, I'm not so sure anymore that this guy deserves any forgiveness for his faux pas. He needs a spanking.
thesquawkback said @ 4:16pm GMT on 31st Dec
Were there many other than the one?
thesquawkback said @ 4:21pm GMT on 31st Dec
I think you need to back off now as you're now indirectly inciting viewers of this site to harass me on my facebook page. I already qualified the ONE incident to which you're referring, and now out of malice you're fraudulently referring to "multiple" rejected contributors insulted and berated on my facebook page, of which there is no evidence because it simply isn't true. Now I've apologized to the people I've offended, but you're stirring up the pot and casting further aspersions in an attempt to damage my character. So think a little bit about what you're doing, and if my mildly hurting your feelings by quoting things you said warrants a full-scale SE assault and allusions to "finding out my true identity and phone number" such as you've made.
assbastard said @ 4:34pm GMT on 31st Dec
"YOU DUN GOOFED! I know! Who's emailin' and who's doin' it, and you've been reported to the state police and the cyber-police. And you better try one more thing and if you screw with my computer again, you'll be arrested. End of conversation! From her father squawk back!"
monkeynuts said @ 4:34pm GMT on 31st Dec
you can't honestly be a real person. You're clearly going to start threatening to press charges next.
thesquawkback said @ 4:39pm GMT on 31st Dec
Hey, I'm just asking you to consider the ethical implications of your persistent cyberbullying and threats to reveal personal information about me on this site.

You can keep telling yourselves that "I berated dozens of contributors to my website and this justifies it" (even though it was one, and I didn't actually berate him, I just posted images of his emails)... but the truth is, you're not doing this out of a sense of moral responsibility, you're doing it because you derive pleasure from sadistic behavior, like most bullies.

That's probably why no one's bothered to look at the Facebook page, which would after a few minutes reveal unga-bunga's lie.
thesquawkback said @ 4:41pm GMT on 31st Dec
I know you see this as some kind of "ultimate hateburt burn" or something, but it's really picking on and threatening the "outsider," and frustration over your general inability to hurt my feelings in the way I've hurt yours. Now here's a list of long books I've read and some Elizabethan words.
papango said @ 9:36pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Did you hurt my feelings? I can be kind of oblivious about things like that, so you better point it out.
assbastard said @ 5:07pm GMT on 31st Dec
I've been watching the facebook page, and I see absolutely zero (nada, none, zip, zilch) activity of a negative nature from anyone from SE, or anywhere else, posted in comments. All the comments either agree with you or are esoteric, and none are from anyone on SE that I recognize. Please point out these comments you speak of.

And look at this entire page here on SE. Look at your behavior, and just try to tell me that you're not acting as the bully as well. You don't even apologize for it, you just say that it was all in good fun, when clearly it wasn't. You were malicious, you were an asshole, and you are unrepentant. In short, fuck you, you cunt.
thesquawkback said @ 5:10pm GMT on 31st Dec
Okay well I didn't mention it... but since I guess it's NOT obvious, I removed THE ONE POST and blocked the user ..

I didn't say I was receiving multiple posts, I said unga-bunga was inciting SE viewers to harass me by making up a bunch of bullshit about me berating lots of spurned contributors to my site.

I didn't publicly mock or ridicule ANY of my contributors, except for ONE who sent me a torrent of volatile hate mail, and by mock and ridicule I mean show my followers and contributors what he said.
assbastard said @ 5:18pm GMT on 31st Dec
So you're not only grossly overblowing the amount of people that you claim came from SE to harass you on facebook, the post and user are no longer there, and there's no evidence of it ever existing anymore.

Quit being a colossal fuckwit. Really. You're not only claiming persecution, you're attacking people on SE and not taking responsibility for it. It's just unreal how childish and hypocritical you're being, and you refuse to even acknowledge it! Are you twelve? Please, just stop posting and you can walk away without shoveling yourself into this hole of yours any further.
steele.ero said @ 5:46pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Good News Everyone!

Even if you did delete the post you can just take a screenshot of your facebook page's notifications and it will show us who it was. And since it was yesterday it will even show us what day it occurred!

http://www.facebook.com/notifications?id=220126811339408

Hooray!
unga-bunga said @ 6:47pm GMT on 31st Dec
screenshots, please. :)
papango said @ 9:35pm GMT on 31st Dec
You said 'people' from this message board were harassing you on Facebook. Which sort of implies more than just the one.
papango said @ 9:33pm GMT on 31st Dec
I looked at it quite a bit, which is obvious if you read my comments. I was also briefly friended on Facebook by Zach Block, but he unfriended me while I was asleep.
steele.ero said @ 9:59pm GMT on 31st Dec
That would be him, he was probably trying to steal all your contacts!
papango said @ 10:05pm GMT on 31st Dec
He'll be disappointed. It's mostly SE people and my many many many cousins.

Wait, he is Zach Block? Then was he posting his own email address and a snarky comment that was made to him? That doesn't make any sense.
steele.ero said @ 10:14pm GMT on 31st Dec
Zachary H. Block doesn't need to make sense! He is an enigma of the ages!
thesquawkback said @ 10:20pm GMT on 31st Dec
Hey, Renee Maunder and Joshua Steele, I don't really think you should be using my real name on this....
steele.ero said @ 10:27pm GMT on 31st Dec
It's too late now, Zach! Zak! However you spell your name!
b said @ 10:28pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:3 Funny]
Psst... we have a facebook group, most of us have already "outed" our first names and in fact even posted enormous embarrassing pictures of ourselves on this very website!

Also, I think the only person around here that would bother harassing anyone else would be Madpride, and at that she'd just be sending us sex toys and a box of mushroom chocolates with a loving note and maybe a naked Barbie doll with a vagina drawn on in pen. If you can call that harassment. Personally, I'd call it best Christmas ever.
b said @ 10:29pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2 Funny]
hint, hint
krupa said @ 11:42am GMT on 2nd Jan
It is actually very liberating to be yourself. For example, all my coworkers for example know that I'm a very, very kinky individual, and there's no problem with that.
When people accept you as YOU, then life is so much easier.

It was really funny a few years ago, when this one guy tried to extort me by "revealing my true self" me to everybody. We had a really good laugh about that when I mentioned that at work. :D

I recommend it, COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! (Regardless of the contents of it, and of course, YMMV. Some cultures are not cultured enough, sadly.)
papango said @ 10:36pm GMT on 31st Dec
Hey, Squawkback.

I'm actually not entirely convinced you are Zak. Because that seems confusing and I haven't had much sleep. I'm happy to keep using Squawkback, if that's what you prefer. I don't mind if you call me Renee or Maunder or papango. Or any combination of the three. I'm also papango on twitter, which I don't use much. And on gmail. I'm Renee on my Customs email, and PS (which stands for private secretary) when I'm in the Minister's office because I'm not important enough to have a distinct email there. Most people here either know my name, or don't give two shits. Or both. My phone number is on my Facebook page, but we don't get good reception where we live, so it's better to text.
papango said @ 10:27pm GMT on 31st Dec
The internet is hard.
sacrelicious said @ 12:24am GMT on 1st Jan
I know I am!
Chop-Logik said @ 12:49am GMT on 1st Jan
..the Internet?
sacrelicious said @ 12:50am GMT on 1st Jan
no, but I wwebsite as on it!
unga-bunga said @ 5:42pm GMT on 31st Dec
Sir, as far as I can tell, you are the one most responsible for indirectly inciting people to harass you. Try as you might to insinuate that I am somehow responsible for this, you will not ever be right about this. The fact is that I was trying to promote your site, and that I have stated outright that I think it's wrong for people to go to Facebook and harass you there..

One incident? Unless you are Tyler or Spencer Durrett, I'm counting 3 personal email addresses you've exposed, and I'm sure that the "lonely fat nerd who hasn't been laid" would love that moniker. Also, telling somebody that they suck cock at work is kind of insulting, too.

Yes, I criticized your actions. No I did not slander you. I invited people to look at what YOU WROTE and to make their own conclusions. I am not attempting to damage your character, nor am I encouraging a "full-scale SE assault". "I'm not so sure this guy deserves any forgiveness" is my opinion, basically stating that I will not accept your apology and I do not forgive your actions. "He needs a spanking" is also me stating my belief that I think your parents should spank you and teach you a lesson. You are free to disagree with that parenting philosophy, and my opinions. Don't take my words out of context in an attempt to vilify me.

Your false accusations of attempts at damaging your character and insinuation of slander are thinly veiled threats of further litigation. Are you so sure that's the road you want to travel down? Let me ask you this: Do you really think you can defend your comments here and on Facebook in a court of law and prove that you were wronged? I know that I could. I could also show how you misquoted what was said.

My "allusions" were actually an expression of shock at the fact the person who registered your website put their full name, home address, home phone number, and personal email address. My opinion is that this person is not you, however, but my wonderment that such personal information is divulged still stands.

Don't try to blame me for the backlash that you caused. I could easily counter with the fact that I have a headache (actual, physical discomfort/pain) that I believe to be the result of stress caused by your false accusations, insults, demeaning mannerisms, and relentless continuation that borders on harassment itself.
thesquawkback said @ 5:44pm GMT on 31st Dec
"Lonely fat nerd who hasn't been laid" and "suck cock at work " were things Tyler Durrett said to me: go back and look at the emails again
thesquawkback said @ 5:46pm GMT on 31st Dec
And no one's home address appears on my page
thesquawkback said @ 5:53pm GMT on 31st Dec
Wait, are you talking about this: http://who.godaddy.com/whois.aspx?domain=thesquawkback.com&prog_id=GoDaddy ?
thesquawkback said @ 6:01pm GMT on 31st Dec
I don't live in WA, Godaddy does
unga-bunga said @ 6:47pm GMT on 31st Dec
No, this outdated one: http://www.whois.net/whois/squawkback.com
thesquawkback said @ 6:50pm GMT on 31st Dec
Yeah well... that WOULD be information about the registrant of squawkback.com... since my website is thesquawkback.com... the information doesn't REALLY pertain to me... but rather some other person, with a website with a different name.
unga-bunga said @ 7:23pm GMT on 31st Dec
Watch, and learn:

Hey, your right. That isn't your site, I obviously made a mistake, and was wrong.


There, see how easy that was?
thesquawkback said @ 7:25pm GMT on 31st Dec
Funny, I don't see you apologizing for releasing what you thought was my home address, telephone number and email address... weird
assbastard said @ 7:30pm GMT on 31st Dec
WHERE?! WHERE did he do that?
thesquawkback said @ 7:31pm GMT on 31st Dec
HERE! HERE

unga-bunga said @ 5:42pm GMT on 31st Dec
"My "allusions" were actually an expression of shock at the fact the person who registered your website put their full name, home address, home phone number, and personal email address. My opinion is that this person is not you, however, but my wonderment that such personal information is divulged still stands."

thesquawkback said @ 5:53pm GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
"Wait, are you talking about this: http://who.godaddy.com/whois.aspx?domain=thesquawkback.com&prog_id=GoDaddy ?"

unga-bunga said @ 6:47pm GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
"No, this outdated one: http://www.whois.net/whois/squawkback.com"

thesquawkback said @ 6:50pm GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
Yeah well... that WOULD be information about the registrant of squawkback.com... since my website is thesquawkback.com... the information doesn't REALLY pertain to me... but rather some other person, with a website with a different name.

unga-bunga said @ 7:23pm GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
Watch, and learn:

Hey, your right. That isn't your site, I obviously made a mistake, and was wrong.


There, see how easy that was?
assbastard said @ 7:37pm GMT on 31st Dec
So he put up the whois address for squackback.com, right after you put up the whois for your own site? And afterward, he apologized for it?

Come the fuck on, you clod, quit playing the victim when you have no leg to stand on.
thesquawkback said @ 7:45pm GMT on 31st Dec
He didn't apologize, he said he was wrong about my domain name having a the at the end of it.

Clearly I put THE WHOIS FOR MY OWN SITE up because he threatened to put [the wrong one] up several times, then finally did.
thesquawkback said @ 7:47pm GMT on 31st Dec
This has stopped being an argument and become a feeble attempt to contradict me in the face of a failed attempt to out my contact address and further revelations of unga-bunga's and your shared illiteracy.

Also, I don't believe the whole "failure to read the email in the screenshot properly" confusion was addressed either.
assbastard said @ 8:10pm GMT on 31st Dec
You want to talk about missed points? Address those and we'll talk.

Unless you're taking your ball and going home. Which I sincerely hope you do, for the sake of further damage to your brand/site.
thesquawkback said @ 8:51pm GMT on 31st Dec
Yes, I'm taking my ball and going home: I can't imagine you or unga-bunga finding any other conceivable ways to humiliate yourself with it
b said @ 10:29pm GMT on 31st Dec
But you're still here...
Chop-Logik said @ 11:14pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
But the balls, they have gone.
sacrelicious said @ 12:24am GMT on 1st Jan
old man Jenkins grabbed his balls when they went over his fence, and is claiming that they are his now.
unga-bunga said @ 7:32pm GMT on 31st Dec
I did not "release" any information, and I did actually state that I did not believe the registrar to be you. We both showed that we know how to use a Whois search. What's your point?

And if you want to get all "holier than thou" about it...ever heard the phrase "Do unto others, that which you would have done unto you"?

You = no leg to stand on
thesquawkback said @ 7:35pm GMT on 31st Dec
I can't imagine WHY you would have brought it up if you honestly didn't think it was me .. nor why would you say:

"unga-bunga said @ 2:30am GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
I'm not sure exactly why I could not resist, but I just had to Whois the guy.

Man, sometimes those can reveal a lot.
unga-bunga said @ 4:14am GMT on 31st Dec - moderate/reply
Like phone numbers! :O"


So let's just admit that the whole "I don't really think this is you" thing was your way of saying "I don't think you would be stupid enough to reveal this information"..

You = unable to perceive the article "the" and failed cyberstalker
unga-bunga said @ 7:38pm GMT on 31st Dec
Now that I have gone and visited Squawkback.com, I'm kind of wishing I had posted that site instead. Much better HTML, and comparable reading.


Yeah, that's right: middle fingers up, buddy. Middle fingers up.
thesquawkback said @ 7:23pm GMT on 31st Dec
But this does raise an interesting question, which is: what kind of IDIOT would give his home address, phone number and email address when registering a website hence making it available to anyone who searched godaddy's WHOIS database...

i mean.. other than the registrant of this website and funnythingsireadontheinternet.com
steele.ero said @ 8:30pm GMT on 31st Dec
Oh noes!
theRed said @ 11:47pm GMT on 31st Dec
No one has set out to cast aspersions on you or your site. However, your comments have been quite revealing as to the deficient nature of your character. Your condescending, arrogant and dismissive tone have definitely left a bad taste in my mind, and I'm sure many of the other members of this site who through no fault of their own happened to read them.

Your further suggestion that anyone is inciting any kind of improper behaviour or "assault" (cyber or otherwise) is ridiculous.

That said, this IS the internet... dummy. If you keep pissing people off and talking about searching for your details long enough, someone probably will.
assbastard said @ 5:34pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2 Underrated]
Wow. Frankly, I'm amazed at how willingly ignorant you're being. I didn't mention your grammar, nor did I omit the word "who" in my first reply. I don't believe you did look him up, because you've either completely ignored the point, or it went over your head. Bad PR comes back to bite you in the ass, and I'm afraid that you're doing yourself a disservice with every reply in this post. You're acting childish, vindictive and wholly unbecoming of a site owner. It is not your duty to go to some random site and "defend the honor" of your writers. You need to learn to not take criticism personally, and you need to learn to not have a meltdown when someone doesn't like what you've worked on. I mean, this is just cringe-inducingly embarrassing to read. Why are you even continuing? You've made the point you've wanted to, why keep digging yourself in deeper?

For the sake of yourself, and if not yourself, then your writers, stop.
azazel said @ 7:51pm GMT on 30th Dec
I think he might be reacting to my comment about his sentences stinking. That said, my comment was more about sentence structure and less about grammar or spelling. Regardless, his reaction is not warranted for anything done in this post.
thesquawkback said @ 8:11pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:-1 Troll]
Which, in turn, was more about poor reading comprehension and less about sentence structure.
azazel said @ 8:14pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2 Underrated]
Oh get off your high horse. You didn't even know what 'amateur' meant.
thesquawkback said @ 8:18pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:-1 Overrated]
I have a feeling you're referring to the sentence "this is the first internet porn portal site that's reviewed in a general kind of way the 450 odd short stories, poems and essays we've published since our formation." What's interesting about this is, you probably think "this is the first internet porn portal site that's reviewed the 450 odd short stories, poems and essays we've published since our formation in a general kind of way" would have been "correct," even though it contains a dangling modifier.

While we're on the subject, I didn't realize there was a difference between grammar and syntax...
azazel said @ 8:29pm GMT on 30th Dec
No, I definitely do not think that. I honestly can't remember what I thought was bad about your post -- apart from your stance and the way you obviously think you're better than us -- so let's drop it. Regardless of whether your post contained any syntactical errors or not, I still think your sentences stink; I don't like your writing.

That said, you're acting awfully smug for someone who's proved to the world (or at least us here) that you've the temperament of a kid. Your tantrum earlier today was of epic proportions. If you'd been my kid I would have left you in the mall after the first rage post.

Out of curiosity: is English your native language? Do you speak any other languages beside it?
thesquawkback said @ 4:52pm GMT on 31st Dec
Perhaps I should be asking you the same question: your previous posts reveal that your comprehension of it so weak that you find incorrect grammar easier to understand than correct, don't know what the word grammar means, and have trouble conjugating the verb "to be."
azazel said @ 9:46pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:3 Funny]
It's not; it's the third language I learned. No matter, you've proved that you're better than me, I'll just watch this thread from the bleachers from now on.
disconnect said @ 5:11pm GMT on 1st Jan [Score:-2]
"WTF" only because lacking "DUM"
thesquawkback said @ 5:03pm GMT on 30th Dec
Look... bro... dude... did you read the preceding posts?... were you familiar with the device of irony?... were you aware that I was, in a sense, misrepresenting my grammatical abilities for the purposes of insulting someone... bro...listen... it's okay.. just read the posts which put what I wrote in some kind of context and learn
Chop-Logik said @ 5:28pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:4 Good]
Don't let them get to you, Squawkback. I find you very compelling, in a slow-motion car accident sort of way.
graham said @ 9:16pm GMT on 30th Dec
This post is hardly fun anymore.
graham said @ 9:19pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2]
o_0
Aidentas said @ 9:21pm GMT on 30th Dec
I don't know, it's not enough. Can we add some sort of tasteful yet esoteric background, maybe?
steele.ero said @ 9:27pm GMT on 30th Dec
Are we doing the right thing though? If the guy's a dick people deserve a readable warning.
graham said @ 9:30pm GMT on 30th Dec [Score:2]
HUGZ
steele.ero said @ 9:33pm GMT on 30th Dec
aww!
Kat said @ 8:56pm GMT on 31st Dec
Stop hugging my face!
Joe_Luma said @ 9:34pm GMT on 31st Dec
Bow-shika-wow-wow!

There ya go buddy ;)
steele.ero said @ 11:29pm GMT on 30th Dec
Sorry, grahamypoo. Maybe later.
steele.ero said @ 11:30pm GMT on 30th Dec
graham said @ 12:44am GMT on 31st Dec
:(
Chop-Logik said @ 1:35am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 WTF]
they;re,, be plenty of tim e to maeyeme when we're de ad
graham said @ 4:44am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 WTF]
This would have been so much more fun if you didn't take away my toys.

And now, alcohol!

(guiness with a shot of van gogh espresso vodka to be precise)
Jewbacchus said @ 2:54pm GMT on 30th Dec
I really miss fbonacci.
graham said @ 9:15pm GMT on 30th Dec
yeah :\
assbastard said @ 7:38pm GMT on 31st Dec
We need Crysallis back.
smada said @ 8:21pm GMT on 31st Dec
me too so much!
pleaides said @ 3:01am GMT on 31st Dec
Wow, this guy is an amazing dickhead. Fun read :)
papango said @ 3:18am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:4 Funny]
I have a vague feeling that the real owner of Squawk Back is going to come back from the holidays to find out that his new girlfriend's ex-boyfriend has been here running amok and driving away potential readers. It's what happens when you live in big cities and you can't just go and take an actual shit on someone's lawn.
ckfahrenheit said @ 5:47am GMT on 31st Dec
reminds me of kimmo
but with more typos
unga-bunga said @ 4:31am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2 Underrated]
For the record...

Truthfully, I posted the site because I thought it was worth posting, just barely, which is a pretty big compliment I think: There are more than a few "well-read" folk on this site, and maybe somebody would also enjoy spending more time there, searching for those hidden gems.

There is no way on earth I could have expected this outcome. I mean, sure, when I saw the first comment was Sac being, well, being Sac -yeah, I expected that. But then out of nowhere comes this guy (I am refraining from actually using his real name, but will give instant karma to anyone who does!), foaming at the mouth! Then it got all awesome-like.
pleaides said @ 10:35am GMT on 31st Dec
I'm glad you made this post, and I would have checked this site out were it not for the histrionics from the clown in charge. You're not to be held responsible for the behaviour of Mr Squawk, hence my upmod.

I'm still really rather annoyed because of the aspersions cast upon se's puissant contributors by Mr Squawk.

I fancy myself as being no mean disputante, and I'm a voracious reader and an enthusiastic autodidact. Despite that I can't count the amount of times I've had my arse handed to me by the old hands around here. How dare this pompous fuckwad deride the calibre of our fellows here!

In the last book-recommendation thread I commented as follows;

"You've got to get through 'Les Miserables' and 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' by Victor Hugo.

I recommend;
'Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire' by Edward Gibbon,
'The Blind Watchmaker' by Richard Dawkins,
'The Satanic Verses' and 'Shalimar the Clown' by Salman Rushdie
'The End of Faith' and 'The Moral Landscape' by Sam Harris
'The Better Angels of our Nature' by Stephen Pinker
'Letters to a Young Contrarian' 'Arguably' and 'God is Not Great' by Christopher Hitchens
'Collapse' by Jared Diamond
'Intelligence in War' by John Keegan
'Tinker Sailor Soldier Spy' by John Le Carre
Everything by PG Wodehouse
'The Second World War' and 'A History of the English Speaking Peoples' by Winston Churchill
'The Story of Civilisation' by Will Durant (might take a while)
Anything by Bertrand Russell"

How dare this idiot presume to say that we here are averse to anything over 400 words. The Will Durant alone is about 13 books big enough to crush one's feet.

I get a bit defensive because of the folks who've patiently humiliated me here deserve a great deal of respect.
pleaides said @ 10:41am GMT on 31st Dec
Oh yeah, nice work Papango, more eloquent and polite than I ever would have been.
papango said @ 10:45am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
D'awwww.

I do get a bit pissy about people assuming that SE must be a hive of moronitude. But it's something you find out about people by talking to them and reading what they have to say. He's not been here long enough to know, so his opinion needs to be weighed against that (and discounted). If he stays for a year and still thinks we're all idiots, I would accept that as his valid opinion. He does seem to have his panties in a bunch about the porn thing, so I don't imagine he will stay.
profetscott said @ 1:42am GMT on 1st Jan
Never know. He stayed around long enough to check his messages. Yes, Sac, I'm still "creepy".
sacrelicious said @ 1:44am GMT on 1st Jan
that's creepy.
profetscott said @ 3:24am GMT on 1st Jan
Hey Sac, I might be remembering wrong, but it seems like two nights ago, I was looking at the original comments to Unga Bungas post and someone put in a linc to fan fiction site. So I was reading this harry potter fan fiction story and my computer crashed. Bad. Black screen of death or something. anyway, its kind of back up and now I can't find the linc and can't remember the name of the article or site, any idea's?
profetscott said @ 4:19am GMT on 1st Jan
never mind, found the site on "google". Still looking for the aritcle. People submit hundreds per day. Who would have known.
sacrelicious said @ 6:16am GMT on 1st Jan
don't trust "google". the quotation marks suggest that it's probably just a sarcastic knock off of google.
profetscott said @ 5:38pm GMT on 1st Jan
"??????????"
azazel said @ 6:54pm GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 Informative]
This the story? Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
profetscott said @ 2:55am GMT on 3rd Jan
that is the one. Thank you azazel
b said @ 8:53pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Hell, even I've read The Satanic Verses and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and I don't usually go in for all those fag books. I only like reading porn, if it's on a computer. And it's a video.
RedRiverRat said @ 7:23pm GMT on 1st Jan
Love Durant.
I have a copy of the series that I inherited and went to a (really cool) antique bookstore to get another hardcover set to give as a gift this year.

unga-bunga said @ 4:57am GMT on 31st Dec
Message centre

Message from thesquawkback (thesquawkback's profile)

Hi: this has stopped being "all in good fun" as it was before, now we're getting into cyberbullying, people from this message board posting insulting language on my facebook page... so let's all be adults now and drop it. Thanks.

Reply

to - thesquawkback

I can't control anybody's actions on this site, but I can assure you that it's not me on Facebook giving you a hard time.

Dude, I thought people should visit your site and shared it with a potential audience of over 20,000 people. I'm not sure why you got so upset with me in the first place, and I'm definitely sure I do not share your sense of "good fun".
papango said @ 5:02am GMT on 31st Dec
Well, that's not nice at all.
unga-bunga said @ 5:20am GMT on 31st Dec
I hope you mean the Facebook action, and not me publicizing a private message. This is the first time I've ever done that, and I definitely felt a pang about it, but I think taking this over to Facebook is not right, and thought it should be known, as this community self-polices very well.
papango said @ 5:27am GMT on 31st Dec
I do mean the Facebook action. He can't really fight back there (although he can delete comments, that can be tiresome), given that his page is for his business as well, so it's not really fair.
brat#3 said @ 5:33am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2]
Not that it was me, but having looked at the facebook page and seen the contempt and ridicule he is happy to post alongside screenshots of emails from rejected authors, I'm conflicted as to how I should feel.

It's not nice to have people attack you personally, but you reduce the chances of it happening drastically if you treat others with respect. He does not.
papango said @ 5:40am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2 WTF]
Yeah, okay. I've been to his page and he's posting actual addresses of the people he's ridiculing to his coterie of cock-lickers. What an enormous cunt.

Looks like big man can dish it out, but can't take it. Poor big man.
brat#3 said @ 5:41am GMT on 31st Dec
You're awesome though <3
papango said @ 5:43am GMT on 31st Dec
Huzzah! Did you ever find the corn syrup you were looking for?
brat#3 said @ 5:45am GMT on 31st Dec
My poor ADHD-addled brain has been too busy finding porn in order to sate my perverse desires, but I'll check Davis trading in the New Year, thanks for the tip :)
steele.ero said @ 3:57pm GMT on 31st Dec
Especially if it were true. But since it's probably not I would worry about it.
ckfahrenheit said @ 5:40am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
'message board'?
thesquawkback said @ 11:19am GMT on 31st Dec
Yeah.. that was pretty out of line for me to post that person's actual address... only I didn't, it was his email address, and he's not a rejected contributor, I've published work by him and we're on friendly terms
papango said @ 11:50am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Underrated]
Really? You posted an exchange to "showcase how quickly I dispatched with cruelty a pathetic attempt at "writing a complaint that seemed like a 'sweet little piece of literary writing that I'm totally missing out on 'cos i don't pay'" or whatever.." With the persons email address, so he could be identified. And it's okay because you're on friendly terms? Seriously? Can you see how that actually makes it much much worse?
thesquawkback said @ 11:35am GMT on 31st Dec
Can we all be friends now? You've won me over.
unga-bunga said @ 4:06pm GMT on 31st Dec
We didn't win you over.
ComposerNate said @ 4:12pm GMT on 31st Dec
I lost you under.
mrcucumber said @ 4:17pm GMT on 31st Dec
Uhm.





No.
unga-bunga said @ 4:28pm GMT on 31st Dec
Is this how you make friends? Call them names, and when it looks like you're about to get beat up, say "hey, it was all in good fun, we're friends now, right?" Well. In a schoolyard that might work, but not before you take a beating.
thesquawkback said @ 4:53pm GMT on 31st Dec
Just curious: without making any empty threats, homespun analogies or further allusions to my electronic beating, what will it consist of? I'm just curious
unga-bunga said @ 7:21pm GMT on 31st Dec
I have stated that I do not condone such actions.

Your false implication of an allusion to any "electronic beating" (your words, not mine) is incorrect. And your continuing insistence that I would have anything to do with such an act is now bordering on deliberately slanderous, provocative behaviour.

I made a comparison. Not an analogy, not an inference, a comparison.

This is an inference: When I was a young man, I thought pretty fucking highly of myself, too.
Jewbacchus said @ 8:46pm GMT on 31st Dec
I'll be your friend, squawkback.
thesquawkback said @ 8:49pm GMT on 31st Dec
Oh, well, I don't know... are you going to repeatedly threaten to release my phone number, then attempt and fail to do so prompting all of your friends to laugh at ME instead of you, even though you look a fucking retard
brat#3 said @ 9:02pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:4 Insightful]
Do you see that there is a difference between the expected level of behaviour from an online commentator on a weblog and someone who is a representative of a business? A young business, which requires submissions and needs credibility from everyone involved in it for it to grow at all?

Do you think any of your interactions on this site create any possible benefit to the growth of your business? Even if they don't negatively impact on it (which it would be foolish to assume, the world is smaller than you think), why continue this if it gives no benefit? It is a waste of your time. Do you get anything out of 'winning' here?

When you write anything online, or in an email, under the name of your business: these things are permanent. These things reflect on your attitude, on your maturity, on your ability to prioritise your time and be an effective leader. How people deal with complaints in business often determines whether they succeed or fail. It's not enough to be passionate about your work, you need to be able to convince other people to be passionate about it. That should have been your mission when coming to this site. You had an opportunity to reach a large audience and you pissed all over it.

It seems unlikely you will learn anything from this encounter, and I wish you luck in the future. If not for you but for the writers who have trusted you to showcase them to the world, and are being woefully underserved at present.
Jewbacchus said @ 12:03am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:3 Insightful]
I would never do that, but you seem to have some baggage from previously failed friendships. I'd still like to be your friend, but can we talk about something else please? What's your favorite beer and or whiskey?
thesquawkback said @ 4:58pm GMT on 31st Dec
"YOU DUN GOOFED! I know your phone number! And Papagno's going to have you exiled from the local publishing industry! And you better try one more thing and if you screw with my self-esteem again, you'll be beaten up metaphorically. End of conversation! From her father squawk back unga-bunga!"
thesquawkback said @ 5:02pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:-1 Troll]
Can we change the subject? Does anyone think the corporate-owned Bang Bros. has lost some of its cinema verite charm?
sacrelicious said @ 12:16am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1]
I, for one, find it irritating that a site called "Bang Bros." features so few bros. banging eachother.
papango said @ 12:18am GMT on 1st Jan
It's no Nude Dudes, that's for sure.
krimz said @ 8:19pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Online publishing is serious business...
b said @ 9:00pm GMT on 31st Dec
Heh ha... from the facebook page, posted by Squawk Back: Shakespeare < Michael Cera

Really? Wow.
thesquawkback said @ 9:01pm GMT on 31st Dec
Right, because the most reasonable explanation for that post is that it ISN'T sarcasm
b said @ 9:17pm GMT on 31st Dec
Hard to tell, really. There's no context given and based on the couple pages of comments and updates I perused, it seems entirely plausible to me. Let's see here...

This: "I LEFF DAT BIDGE A PELAPLEGGIC" and the comment chain preceding it, as well as

"Justin Bieber novel exclusive SB before 12am tomorow say word what son what

‎7 Billion people, 4/5 of them illiterate! KEEP FUCKIN PUMPING OUT BABIES YOU HORNY STUPID WORLD!

new SB shaping up to be a monster. probability of publication by Sunday night high. shitty fonts downloaded from broble.com are also highly probable to be used. stay tooned. uh.

Dear internet people: why read Squawk Back when there are funny-ass white girls doing rap songs and unibrowed amateur comedians on youtube going "what's up with that!!!" ? There are oped pieces on the huffington post written by sophomore philosophy majors who own more books than they've read, to be read in lieu of actual news! There is porn! THERE ARE PORNOGRAPHIC FILMS IN WHICH WOMEN ARE ASKED "ARE YOU A VIRGIN"and they look at the camera and say "YES" and you believe them... you believe that these professional porn stars are virgins... so I mean you have all that so why waste your time with this stupid fucking rag. Russian male order tranvestite drug smuggling chain mail rings, discount office supplies, theme dildos and miles of bunting representing all of the flags of our world. Why bother? Why concern yourself with us?"

Really don't do much for your credibility as a... what are you? Editor? Webmaster? What is your role besides picking fights on random websites and boosting The Squawk Back to the 12 people that have commented on the facebook page?

If I was an aspiring writer and had my work associated with you and your website I'd be embarrassed and ask you to remove it right away.
thesquawkback said @ 9:19pm GMT on 31st Dec
Wuh it doan? It doan do mush fuh my crebilly?
thesquawkback said @ 9:24pm GMT on 31st Dec
Strange... it's almost as if you excerpted these statements from a website on which I had made that readily accessible to anyone who wanted to read them, and which is associated with my publication... boy am I embarrassed
thesquawkback said @ 9:27pm GMT on 31st Dec
You're right: how could anyone, after reading these statements, conclude that "Shakespeare > Michael Cera" was sarcastic... these statements, which all seem to express, in earnest, controversial opinions held by no one, are completely consistent with the belief that Michael Cera is better than Shakespeare. Your point is made.
theRed said @ 12:10am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 Insightful]
The point had little to do with whether you prefer Michael Cera to Shakespeare. The point was they make you seem immature, irresponsible and more than a little bit of an asshole. Good thing you're a genius or those characteristics might be a problem for somebody running a business.
sacrelicious said @ 12:21am GMT on 1st Jan
I prefer Michael Cera to Shakespeare primarily because I was not forced to watch five Michael Cera films over the course of four years of high school, and then having formed a subjective opinion of personal taste that disagreed with the feelings of academia at large was told "well, you just haven't seen enough Michael Cera films!"
b said @ 1:01am GMT on 1st Jan
Hmmm... I bet if you were forced to watch five Michael Cera films you'd have a similarly low opinion of him. Luckily for him, he was on Arrested Development first, so it counterbalances all the shitty movies he's been doing.

Though I have to reserve judgement on Scott Pilgrim, not having seen it yet.
sacrelicious said @ 1:11am GMT on 1st Jan
as a counter-example: I was forced to read Steinbeck's "Of Mice And Men" twice (once in a summer program between middle school and high school, and then once in freshman year of high school), and I thoroughly enjoyed it both times. meanshile, I every single one of those Shakespear plays, all the way up through Hamlet in senior year, each time thinking "okay, THIS ONE, this one will FINALLY be the one that justifies his massive reputation, I'm sure of it!", only to be disappointed each time.

as for Cera, the only Cera vehicle I've actually seen was Superbad, and I quite liked it.
thesquawkback said @ 9:02pm GMT on 31st Dec
It's a reference to the fact that he had a story published in McSweeney's.. I'm sure you forgot to read that issue or something
thesquawkback said @ 9:14pm GMT on 31st Dec
However inability to process duality of meaning is consistent with frequent visitorship of this site
b said @ 9:18pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
You forgot the period. Twice. :p
thesquawkback said @ 9:20pm GMT on 31st Dec
No I doesn't.
anagramophone said @ 9:08pm GMT on 31st Dec
loltrainwreck
thesquawkback said @ 9:16pm GMT on 31st Dec
Again, I would highly recommend you specify that you feel this is LIKE a train wreck and not LITERALLY a trainwreck: after all, we're dealing with a group of people whose ringleader looked at this:

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/314985_299847290034026_220126811339408_1172671_483478166_n.jpg

and then told me it was rude of me to call that person a lonely fat nerd...
b said @ 9:21pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Insightful]
Well, no one here thinks it's a literal train wreck. That would be silly, because then all that train-entering-tunnel imagery would have us all headed straight for the porn bookmarks and feverishly masturbating.
salieri7 said @ 9:35pm GMT on 31st Dec
(1) Seeing as how terrible poetry is usually associated with mustacioed, skinny hipsters and lit. majors, I'm not sure your example demonstrates the point you wish it to.

(2) Even if there were sufficient evidence that the poet in question is a fat, lonely nerd, it would still be rude to point it out. Rudeness is not associated with the truth of a statement, it is associated with the societal conventions of politeness. For example, it would be truthful of me to say that based on your postings here you appear to be a poor marketer for your writers and a bit of a cunt, though it would still be rude.
thesquawkback said @ 9:53pm GMT on 31st Dec
Yes I agree but if you clicked that link you'd realize that I was being CALLED a fat lonely nerd, not CALLING someone one
salieri7 said @ 10:02pm GMT on 31st Dec
Oh my gosh, you're right! I mean, without the proper context of knowing who you are and every personal detail of your life, I'm sure it is of course expected of me to know that you are either Tyler or Spencer Durrett. I mean, how would you even have access to that email message if you weren't one of them? Gosh, I must apologize. This is course makes your behavior here justified. Boy, I wish I were an author that could have you representing my work. Of course, a quick scan of this comment thread verifies that there is no editorial staff at your website, so I'm not sure my paltry writings could pass muster.
Jaxon said @ 10:05pm GMT on 31st Dec
I don't know what the fuck is going on here but it looks like someone who doesn't understand what we do here is pissy about something someone wrote on the internet.

I'm amused that the only down-vote on the post is the guy himself.

Please remove me from this mailing list.
Jaxon said @ 10:06pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:2 Funny]
Also someone fucked with the fonts on this page and I hate you for it.
Chop-Logik said @ 10:23pm GMT on 31st Dec
It... could be worse..
b said @ 11:45pm GMT on 31st Dec
That sounds like a challenge.
graham said @ 9:04pm GMT on 1st Jan
I TRIED I TELLS YA
Aphex808 said @ 11:36pm GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
Sweet fancy Moses this is a mess. It is completely reminiscent of the Ocean Marketing debacle.

Squawk - If you're so concerned about the readership of this site's impression of your blog, how about you stop being such a loaf muncher? As others have said, you've done far more damage to yourself than the initial link (advertising your site) ever did.

I'm thrilled I never clicked on it. Based on your ridiculous behavior, I now never will.

...and lest ye think I'm some unwashed barbarian, I'm pursuing a PhD at a major university here in the United States and my IQ's high enough to recognize yours isn't.

Seriously, you know when people offer you a shovel so you can dig a hole faster? You'd need a fucking backhoe at this point just to keep pace with your current acceleration toward the Earth's core.
Ankylosaur said @ 2:45am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:1 Funny]
I liked Ling better.
DarkShadowRavenDragonGrrl69 said @ 4:50am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:2 Informative]
I love you guys so much and I'd fuck each and everyone of you if we'd ever meet. Happy new years, I'm drunk as fuck, this comment took me 2 minutes to write.
Sensible Erectors said @ 6:23am GMT on 1st Jan [Score:2 Insightful]
This is the perfect time to post nudes of yourself.
DarkShadowRavenDragonGrrl69 said @ 5:11am GMT on 1st Jan
Also I have no idea what this entry's about but I see a lot of people arguing about some outside troll who's not ONE OF US so this is hilarious. I hope you have a wonderful time.

XOXOXO 3=====D~~
unga-bunga said @ 1:15pm GMT on 1st Jan
Not arguing about.

Arguing with. Big difference.

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