Sensible Erection | Advanced masturbation techniques

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Friday, 8 April 2005

quote [ Just place the penis between both hands and
go back and forth.
WARNING: bodily gases and bowel vapors may ignite. ]

Do ya know how difficult this was to search to see if it was a repost? Rediscoverd some really great old stuff on here tho.

Found this while looking for something new to do with the hubby for our anniversary.
Wish there was a site for us gals too,anyone can feel free to send pics to me of them utililzing some of these techniques.

[porn] [by badger@10:55pmGMT] [+9 Informative]

Comments

Dioxin said @ 10:59pm GMT on 8th Apr
Look ma, no hands!

b said @ 11:11pm GMT on 8th Apr
ya know, i coulda done without the little movies...

frozenphoenix said @ 1:04am GMT on 9th Apr
Hard to wrap your mind around some of them, though. Maybe it would be better if he concluded with a statement like: "I've digressed, but you'll understand better if you watched THIS." Which would then be followed by a junk-jerking GIF.

goatvomit said @ 9:56am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 Insightful]

sacrelicious said @ 10:02am GMT on 9th Apr
oh, how I don't envy the person who has someone walk in on them while they're doing that...

Akira said @ 11:14pm GMT on 8th Apr
+1 "Fists of Fury"

phunkeybuddha said @ 11:15pm GMT on 8th Apr
This post would probably get more +1's if you used one of the Sexy Losers characters - the one that masturbates all the time.

Ithaqua said @ 11:46pm GMT on 8th Apr
Mike.

phunkeybuddha said @ 11:56pm GMT on 8th Apr
That's it! Mike's Left Hand.

phunkeybuddha said @ 11:22pm GMT on 8th Apr
Holy Crap! After checking out the site, I realize I've done 24 of the 25 techniques at some point in the past (not a few minutes ago).

paperfeed said @ 12:50pm GMT on 9th Apr
It's like a instinct... We know what to do

marshakyuss said @ 11:38pm GMT on 8th Apr
HOT!!!!!!
money shots for all!

f00m@nB@r said @ 12:18am GMT on 9th Apr
need the female equivalent. anyway, +1 better than jackinworld

frozenphoenix said @ 1:06am GMT on 9th Apr
The guy comments on how ejactulate can vary in color and consitency. I fancy myself a sciency guy, but I don't know why this is. Is it mucous content? Can diet affect things like this? What do I have to eat to cum a rainbow?

phunkeybuddha said @ 1:25am GMT on 9th Apr
A steady diet of Lucky Charms and Trix.

frozenphoenix said @ 1:28am GMT on 9th Apr
Brilliant!

kang said @ 2:01am GMT on 9th Apr
Every other comment ends in EXCLAMATION MARKS!!! Cracks me up.

mystyeyes said @ 3:30am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 Informative]
My hands been so rough. I actually chilled this month cuzz rough hands making it sore. I am to lazy to always use lubricant, or do anything different.

Well I brought some latex gloves home from work the other day, mother fucking great, as good as being on a date., It's wierd cuzz afterwards I could smell latex smell, not sure if I want to train myself to get a woody when a smell latex. I forgot sex could be that good.

flat_michael said @ 4:40am GMT on 9th Apr
Thanks for sharing.

sacrelicious said @ 4:07am GMT on 9th Apr
some of those sound like they'd hurt

canonae1 said @ 4:14am GMT on 9th Apr
"I like to sit on my hands and wait til they get numb, and then masturbate myself...I call that THE STRANGER"

sacrelicious said @ 4:17am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:3 Funny]
"I like to lure myself into a van with the promise of candy, and then violently rape myself in the ass...I call that THE STRANGER"

lsdbeta said @ 4:54am GMT on 9th Apr
"... and then the director said 'what is this called?' and the family said.... THE ARISTOCRATS"

http://waxy.org/random/video/southpark_aristocrats.wmv

or something like that.

lsdbeta said @ 4:56am GMT on 9th Apr
not hotlinked version

paperfeed said @ 12:53pm GMT on 9th Apr
I've seen that... I dunno why but every time i laugh my ass off.

"I don't get it..."
"Mehh, me neither."

f00m@nB@r said @ 2:40am GMT on 10th Apr
pixpls

mystyeyes said @ 4:27am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 WTF]
I trick myself, using my left hand over the top. Get that man musk on your right fist, tongue crack of fist, smell musk, get close, switch hands, grab balls what ever. I violently rape my ass 3-4 times year, to messy and involved for the effort, plus walk funny or feel raped for a few day's is weird.

Ever had assgasm or extreme pleasure irritating ass area? It is like sleeping monster best left alone.

sacrelicious said @ 4:30am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 Insightful]
I don't wanna mod +1 WTF, and I don't wanna mod -1 WTF. we need a neutral WTF mod for situations like this.

Juxtapose said @ 12:06pm GMT on 9th Apr
"+0 Confused Look On Face", maybe?

Nostrildamus said @ 12:02pm GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 Underrated]
Keep this up and you will one day be the goatse man. Seriously, that is how he started out.

sacrelicious said @ 12:22pm GMT on 9th Apr
/me tempted to make an animated gif of the goatse hole saying something like "don't be like me, kids!"

but I won't

cause that would be wrong

and would require far to much looking at that image for my taste.

paperfeed said @ 12:55pm GMT on 9th Apr
... Thats alot of words and still it makes no sense to me at all o.o

mao tse helen said @ 7:29am GMT on 9th Apr [Score:1 Insightful]
You still have to jack off a horse.

Just now you can vary the method.

phunkeybuddha said @ 2:09pm GMT on 9th Apr
Question: How long does it take before something like that becomes a meme? I'm not talkin' about actually jacking off a horse but the reference to it.

devilsad said @ 3:57pm GMT on 9th Apr
As soon as someone repeats it but has no idea where it came from.

But even if it does become a meme, you still have to jack off a horse.

sacrelicious said @ 8:12am GMT on 10th Apr
by the way, if anyone sees YSHTJOAH somewhere that's not SE, please post about it. as co-inventor of the meme, I would be very interested in watching it venture beyond this site.

krupa said @ 8:28am GMT on 9th Apr
That dude has alarmingly small dick, would have been more informative if larger demonstration equipment had been used... :P

paperfeed said @ 12:56pm GMT on 9th Apr
... I can't believe you said that

Speared said @ 4:32pm GMT on 9th Apr
How big is your dick krupa? maybe you could email him some animated gifs to use.

turtlefire said @ 7:45am GMT on 10th Apr
eh looks like a list of ads to me